Bearing Disability: Going to School with a Disability

A few years ago, Emma from Rock For Disability gave her experience about mainstream education and special education. It’s a topic I would like to touch on again. You see, the more I have explored the world of university, the more I think pre-16 education sucks. It just… sucks. School and everything associated with it sucked

One of the reasons it sucks is because it relies almost entirely of A and R of VARK learning, (Auditory and Reading), with a few exceptions—mainly science, and key stage 1 (4-7) learning.

I never went to a “special” school. But I have heard some stories… that many of them capped grades, not allowing the disabled individuals to take the higher paper and so individuals would only be able to get a C in their GCSE or they’d not do GCSE’s at all but a national equivalent that is considered easier.

Personally, I also think the stress on GCSEs is unnecessary. All people really care about is if you have decent maths and English skills, and any other education. The pressure kids are put under to make sure they get the best grades is ridiculous. I’ve seen my friend’s child near tears because they had too much homework and no way to balance a social life… at the age of eleven. At the end of the day, children are children.

My school experience wasn’t the best, but I think I would have been a completely different person if I went to a special school.

My Primary School Experience

I went to a mainstream primary school. I think I was the only physically disabled kid there, but there were definitely other disabilities. Learning disabilities, neurological, diabetics. I did get bullied in primary school… but more because I was a nerd, not because I was disabled. The problem I had regarding disability in primary school was mostly the teachers.

Not all. Mrs H—-y and Mr H—s I remember being really lovely and supportive, but other ones not so much. My reception teacher got into my personal space. I remember I scratched her and I was sent to Mrs Horsley… who awarded me with a jelly baby. She was meant to be the scary teacher in the school and was used as a threat to all the other students.

In Year 1 (age 5-6), I was forced to write with my right hand, because I should be right handed. It seemed to puzzle my Year 1 teacher that the holes on the paper—rather than the pencil—was because my right hand had no motor control. I have cerebral palsy after all. Year 2 I had Mrs H—-y (aged 6-7) and Year 3 and 4 (aged 7-9), I had Mr H—s. Neither of these teachers had treated me differently. Although, the PA that I had bulled me.

And yes I mean bullied me. I’d be standing in a stationary queue and she would poke me, telling me to hurry up. Each time my hips ache, I think of her… not that she caused it, I think it’s my cerebral palsy. But it’s where she used to poke me.

Year 5 and 6, the issue was more with the head wanting me to type with two hands… because secondary school wouldn’t let me type one handed. Secondary school didn’t care.

My Secondary School Experience

Secondary School was rough. This time, the bullying came from both the kids and the teachers. Students mocked how I walked. They would push me on the ground. One student told me they’d leave me in the fire if they were my fire buddy. Another smacked my head on the wall. Pupils didn’t like me because I was a mix of Hermione Granger and Randall from Recess. I snitched and I was a know-it-all. But I had no idea how else I was meant to behave.

I wasn’t allowed out in the playground to socialise from Year 7 (aged 11-12) because it was too dangerous, so I was indoors with the TA. It was easier to keep the only physically disabled kid indoors than tell kids to behave. I wasn’t permitted to do some of the classes like woodwork or metal work because it would mean getting the TA to help me. I was discriminated against because I needed help.

Except P.E. Then they wanted me to sprint across a field and would complain I was bedridden for two days, unable to come to school.

Yep. Secondary school was rough for me. But what it taught me was worth a lot. It’s something that I wouldn’t have got as much in a special school. It taught me how to be versatile. How to adapt in hostile environments. Because discrimination and bullying happens in the adult world too.

I wouldn’t change it. If I had to, I would go to mainstream secondary school again.

Post-16 Education

At the age of 16, I had the choice of ending my education or furthering it in a sixth-form/college setting. This stage of schooling is Further Education (FE) and offers courses that either help you get to Uni or Vocation Courses (hands-on experience). I made the mistake of going to my school sixth-form. Sixth-form is a college attached to a school.

Most of my classmates had left. I wasn’t getting bullied by my class anymore but the head of sixth-form was bullying me. I asked for help because I was struggling with my mental health and I became sick. The head said that I was wagging [skipping school] and that I was trying to play her off against my parents. I refused to speak to her and there was a meeting about “showing her respect”… sure, if she shows me some too.

Many of the teachers were absent because they were called away to teach the GCSE kids, so we didn’t get all our classes. After the end of the year, I dropped out and went to a college.

A college is different to a sixth form because they’re away from schools and some of them also offer HE (Higher Education) courses. The world was different. I was given a support team. I didn’t need a TA in class, but for the first time a laptop was provided for me. They didn’t expect me to handwrite and I was shown respect. This sort of respect continued at University (HE), where I was given support if I asked for it. There was no bullying from teachers or students on the whole. I was made to feel a person.

There was also a community. At College and at University, I met more disabled people than I had before. I became confident.

Thoughts on going to school with a disability

Mainstream school is tough. Other than some of primary school, it is very passive learning. Reading and listening. That doesn’t work for everyone and I feel making use of visuals and activities in class would make learning more inclusive for everyone.

With mainstream school, you’re also aware you’re different through the bullies or how the teachers treat you. It is likely that you will be excluded from some activities. I do hope schools have changed since I left 10 years ago. I hope that kids are able to do woodwork if they want to.

Overall, I think that there’s a lot of things that need improving in schools, but I would happily go through mainstream school again. Because, without it, I wouldn’t be the person I am. I wouldn’t see how disabled people are viewed by others in the same way. It may have been a lonely journey but I came out of it strong. I also became confident by having the support put in place in my post-16 education settings.

If support was given in school settings, perhaps more disabled people would leave school with confidence in themselves and what they want to do in the future.

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